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Social Story for Winning and Losing
A winning and losing social story helps a child who finds losing very hard: the board game that ends in tears, the race that wasn’t fair, the card flung across the room. Being upset about losing is normal, especially for young children who are still learning that a game is not about them. What helps is having a plan for the feeling, and some words to say, before the next game starts.
The story below lets the child be disappointed, out loud, and then shows what comes after: a breath, a “good game”, and wanting to play again. It covers winning too, because winning kindly is part of the same skill. Free to read aloud, or make one with your child in it.
What will happen, in order
- We play the game
- Somebody wins, somebody loses
- Hands flat, one big breath
- Say “good game”
- Play again another day
Read the steps together in the daytime, more than once. The free printable below has these steps at the top and the bedtime story underneath.
Priya and the Snakes and Ladders
A free story to read aloud tonight
Priya loved board games, as long as she won. When she won, she did a dance. When she lost, the game sometimes ended up on the floor.
One rainy Saturday she played snakes and ladders with her big brother Dev. She climbed a long ladder, nearly to the top. Then she rolled a four, landed on the biggest snake of all, and slid all the way down to the bottom.
Her face went hot. Her hands wanted to flip the board. But she remembered what she and Mom had practiced: hands flat on the table, one big breath in, one big breath out. Then she said it out loud: “I’m so annoyed.” Which was true.
Dev won. He didn’t dance. He just said, “That snake was mean.” And Priya, who was still a bit annoyed, said, “Good game.” It came out quiet, but it came out.
“Again?” said Dev. Priya thought about it. “Again,” she said. And the second time, she won, and she did a very small dance, only with her shoulders, so Dev wouldn’t feel bad.
That night Priya put the game back on the shelf, all the pieces in the box, the snakes and the ladders folded up together. She went to bed thinking that you can’t have one without the other, and fell asleep.
Read it a few nights running rather than on the morning of. Familiarity is the part that works. The aim is that by the day itself, none of it is new.
Is it normal for a child to get upset when they lose?
Yes, very. Young children are still learning that losing a game isn’t losing something about themselves, and many find it hard well into school age. Playing together often, losing yourself sometimes and saying how it feels, and praising good sportsmanship more than winning are common suggestions.
Should I let my child win?
Many parents let very young children win sometimes, and then gradually less, so losing becomes something they can practice somewhere safe. Cooperative games, where everyone wins or loses together, are another way to play without the sting.