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Social Story for Personal Space
A personal space social story helps a child picture something invisible: the bubble of room each person carries around with them, and the rule that you ask before you step into someone else’s. Children who crowd others are almost never being rude. They are affectionate, or excited, or simply haven’t noticed yet that other people can feel too close before they are touched.
The story below uses the bubble idea, which many classrooms use too, and gives a child two things to do: notice the bubble, and ask. It also says their own bubble counts, which matters just as much. Free to read aloud, or make one with your child in it.
Bea and the Bubbles Nobody Could See
A free story to read aloud tonight
Bea liked people very much, and she liked them close. She liked to lean on them, and climb on them, and put her face right up to their faces to tell them important things about dinosaurs.
One day at the park her friend Theo stepped back, and back again, and then said “Too close!” and Bea did not understand, because she had not even touched him.
So her mum told her about the bubbles. Everyone, she said, walks around inside a bubble. You can’t see it. It goes about as far as your arms can reach, all the way round, and it belongs to the person inside it.
Some people like their bubble big. Some people like it small. Some people let you in for a hug and some would rather have a wave. The way you find out, said Mum, is the easiest thing in the world: you ask.
So the next day Bea stopped at the edge of Theo’s bubble, which she could not see but could imagine very well, shiny and round. “Can I sit next to you?” she said. “Yes,” said Theo, and moved over, and they waited for the slide side by side, with their bubbles just touching.
That night Bea lay in bed inside her own bubble, which was exactly the size of the bed, and nobody came in except Mum, for one goodnight kiss. Mum asked first. Bea said yes.
Read it a few nights running rather than on the morning of. Familiarity is the part that works. The aim is that by the day itself, none of it is new.
How do I explain personal space to a young child?
Make it visible. The bubble is the most common way: arms out, turn in a circle, and that is your bubble, and everyone has one. Then the rule is short enough to remember: ask before you go into someone else’s bubble. Practise at home with silly questions, like “Can I come in your bubble to tickle your foot?”
My child is very affectionate. Am I teaching them that hugs are bad?
No. The story is clear that hugs are lovely when the other person wants one. What changes is that your child learns to check first, which most friends welcome. It also teaches the other half: their own bubble belongs to them, and they are allowed to say no too.
Do some children find personal space harder to learn?
Yes. For many young children it takes a lot of repetition, because the signs people give when they feel crowded are subtle. If your child seems to find it much harder than other children their age, or a teacher has raised it, it is worth talking to your pediatrician.